


Should Have, Could Have

by awildlokiappears



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst and swearing and pain, M/M, also, get together mini-fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-02
Updated: 2013-04-02
Packaged: 2017-12-07 07:27:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/745889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awildlokiappears/pseuds/awildlokiappears
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Should haves, could haves...they never quite take the pain away. IrukaxKakashi, rated for language</p>
            </blockquote>





	Should Have, Could Have

In spite of what had been lost, and Naruto's injuries, Konoha's Copy Nin could not be found. A good many of the shinobi around him were harsh, angry; Sasuke had followed the man who killed their Hokage, never mind the fact that the Sandaime had sacrificed himself to bind Orochimaru's jutsus. Many had already cast him out as an outlaw; still more were calling for his head on a pike. Iruka alone had stood up to the masses and told them off; his students were already suffering enough as it was. Naruto was comatose, while Sakura, Ino, Tenten, and Hinata succored to Kurenai's apartment. The boys probably should have been sent home, but they had been gathered together by the few quiet nin, and given a chance to talk through their thoughts with Choji's father and Gai. Iruka alone had not joined either group; he could have, and would have, but Naruto was lost to the world...and so was his second mentor. Kakashi had disappeared as soon as he'd dropped the boy off at the hospital...Iruka had followed him.

Kakashi probably knew that, but he didn't seem to care; contrary to everything Iruka had ever seen the Copy Nin do, he allowed the teacher to follow him quite blatantly to the training grounds, now a ruin of fallen trees and battered ground. There, the man stood for a moment, his tall, lanky form utterly still...and a rage-filled scream filled the clearing. Iruka started visibly, as Kakashi  _ripped_ his mask and  _hiate-ate_  off, howling his pain and sorrow and anger at the rising moon. It lasted, it felt, for hours...yet Iruka knew that only a few moments had passed when the man began to punch one of the few stumps left standing, its top shorn off by a blast. He wasn't really focusing on form, either; he was simply pummeling the dying tree with blows that echoed through the clearing, and Iruka's eyes widened when a spray of blood erupted from one blow. With a curse that would have scorched even Anko's ears, Kakashi slumped back, his broken hand bleeding freely, his good hand curled against his side. He would have fallen to his knees had he not been caught, and Iruka eased him to the ground, drawing his arms around the man's neck from behind and holding him tight.

"Kakashi-sensei..."

"I fucked up." There was so much grief in that voice...Iruka felt tears prick his eyes. He knew what Kakashi had taught Sasuke; Naruto jabbered about it often enough.

"How could you have known?"

"I should have guessed, should have been there more..."

"Kakashi, you never would have known this!"

"You don't know that! You don't know a fucking thing! You're a goddamn chuunin!" Iruka stilled, then grabbed Kakashi's chin and yanked it back, pulling the man's head far enough that he was laying down in Iruka's lap.

"I may be a goddamn chuunin, but I've also been that boy's goddamn  _guardian_  since the day Itachi was ordered to slaughter his family. Don't think I don't know about all of that; I was the one who kept the boy fed, clothed, and housed. Same with Naruto. I NEVER would have dreamed that Sasuke's thirst for revenge would lead him down this path. You've been teaching them, what, a year now?  _You would not have known._  Now stop fucking hurting yourself." Iruka's hands lingered on Kakashi's face, one silver eye and one Sharingan staring up at him, confused, hurting...broken inside. "Besides...place a little faith in Naruto. It won't be you or I who brings Sasuke back; it will be the one person who still believes in him." He leaned down, hesitant, nervous about what he was about to do. What if...? He closed his eyes and kissed Kakashi on the forehead, the tips of their noses touching. A long hand came up and touched his face, and Iruka pulled away, just a little, brown eyes meeting mismatched.

"I guess...there's a lot of things I don't know."


End file.
